My wife and I started dating in July of 2016 after knowing each other for about a month.
When I met her she never dressed feminine or had interest in getting her nails or hair done, she grew up with parents who were more focused on raising her brothers. Essentially they treated her like she was another son, neglecting her needs as a woman. She had to learn about most womanly things on her own like how to deal with a period,how to set boundaries with boys, that kind of stuff. When I met her I could tell she had no idea how beautiful she was inside and out. The way she communicated spoke to my heart and I fell for her pretty hard. I built her confidence up from nothing, bought her feminine clothes, flowers, jewelry, I showed her how a man treats his woman.
Through 8 years we had many ups and downs, but always rebounded and had very healthy ways of dealing with conflict. In 2020 I popped the question and in 2022 we had a beautiful wedding with all our closest friends and family present.After we got married our relationship got even stronger. But soon, She started having problems with closeness and intimacy. Something inside her felt awkward or strange touching me so she slowed down and I felt that pull away. We went to couples counseling in 2023 to try and work on it, and unfortunately didn’t get much out of it. Her and I found a way to fix the issue on our own and had the best relationship from 2023 to July of 2024.A 6 figure job opened up at her job in 2024 and I pushed her to pursue it even though she wasn’t qualified. She didn’t believe in herself, but I did. She interviewed and got the job, but it meant she’d have to go off to Colorado for a month to do schooling. No big deal, our relationship was stronger than ever so I was excited for her.
She came home in August of 2024, but she didn’t really come home mentally. She was pushing me away, dismissive of my efforts and feelings, talking and messaging her boss every single night for hours while drinking. I told her it made me uncomfortable, but she persisted.Eventually it popped off. During a BBQ him and her got extremely drunk and made out. He put his hands in her pants all while no one was around. Later that night she tried putting her hands in his pants under some blankets. After I found out I was furious and demanded answers. Both were drinking but that was in no way an excuse. I was told that they weren’t allowed to talk anymore and threatened to beat the guy into the dirt. They kept talking and I was finding traces of messages, open doors to each other’s social medias. The fighting from this caused so much anger that I left our state to give her the space she wanted from me.After a week she told me that she really wanted me to come home and try to fix issues. When I did come home I bought roses, champagne, candles, and got the entire house cleaned up. She came home to all that love and effort. We had s//x, talked, things seemed fine. A couple days later I noticed how much she was talking to a female coworker and I started asking questions. Turns out the guy made a fake snapchat and they were both pretending it was her coworker so they could keep talking. We talked about divorce many many times through this, but never got to that barrier. We started couples counseling to start try and healing our issues.missed out on spending Halloween with her (my favorite holiday) because she sent me away but I was hopeful for thanksgiving. She had to work on the actual day, but had Black Friday off. I was preparing to do a mini thanksgiving for us. She miraculously got called into work and that was pretty much it. I noticed her location was far from work and I realized I’d been conned. She was out on a date with him so I got in my car and followed. I couldn’t catch up to them because her location was pinging from different areas. I finally found their destination. A huge Christmas festival with lights, music, food. I was horrified. It should be me here with her, not some random guy she met just months ago. I looked for them but couldn’t find them. I realized if I did find them I’d be going to jail because if I got my hands on him I was going to k// ll him. I went home. I called her out and told her I knew, she came home and we were certain about a divorce. She told me this story about how her coworkers saw her at the gas station and invited her, that there was a bunch of other people there. I believed her because I wanted it to be true. We went to Hawaii the next week because we had tickets we had purchased way earlier in the year. We figured distance might help. First night out there she got angry at me because another woman picked up on me. For the first time in our relationship she got physical. She punched me in the eye, the jaw, and the chest about 6 times before I had to push her back. When I did she accused me of hitting her. Second night she got into another huge fight because the girl happened to be at the same bar as us and she wanted to leave to avoid a fight. I didn’t have any issues with that, she was uncomfortable so we left but when we got home I still got blamed her anger. I told her about the irony of the situation, me respecting her choice but she didn’t want to hear it. We were able to salvage the rest of the vacation and actually had a great time.
We came home and continued our couples counseling. Things have been overall fine, but I felt like the truth was being held. We had an appointment last Friday and the truth came out. She had s//x with him when I left to give her space, and she was in love him with. The whole date after thanksgiving with coworkers was a lie. It was just him and her doing couples stuff. Now somehow she’s back to wanting me and only me. I’m so hurt, I’m confused, I wish I could escape my mind and reality. This situation almost drove me to su// cide 3 times. She was my girl. The love of my life. Now she’s touching me and kissing me but it all feels false and wrong.
Disclaimer; not my story
